Hi there!

Here's a little of back story to our situation ...
Last month, my husband and I lost our 3 year old feral rescue cat and it was utterly devastating. I'm still mourning his loss and my heart aches. He was the kitty love of my life and I feel a huge deal of anxiety without him. So, my husband suggested we get another kitten to help cope. I've always been interested in bengals, since I've had friends and family (hubby's mom) who own them and rave about what an incredible breed they are. Also, I had looked into adopting a singapura last year but they were a bit out of our price range.

Now, my husband suggested adopting a singapura since I was so interested before, and perhaps having a purebred cat would be healthier than our feral rescue? The cost of a singapura still daunting, I checked local Bengal breeders as well to see what the options were. That's when I came across silver bengals. How beautiful! Little snow leopards! And less expensive than a singapura! Not to mention, the singapura breeder highly recommended 2 cats as we both work full time. While we do have a 10 year old shiba inu, they would likely not have a very strong bond.

Anyway! Studying both breeds intensively, I decided the temperament and nature of the singapura suited me better in spite of my preference to the bengals appearance. A couple days later, my mother in law (the current owner and lover of a Bengal) sent us a link to a TICA registered Bengal kitten at a very low price. He was a silver sheet marble Bengal, primarily charcoal colouring on his sides, but beautiful stripes and spots on his belly and legs. I was interested in meeting him to get a feel for what bengals are really like.

So, the next day my hubby called up the breeder and we went to meet him. He was 14 weeks old, very playful and energetic but also incredibly affectionate. He let me hold and snuggle him after only meeting him for a few minutes! Also, he had no interest in climbing at all and loved being carried around. He was unlike the other kittens there as they all hid and watched us from afar (my only experience with bengals ever really) and he wanted to be with us the whole time.

This breeder is relatively new (3.5 years he said) and since this kittens markings aren't as desired, h and was selling him for much lower than he normally would. This kitten seemed very well socialized and had a temperament unlike what I read about bengals. Still, I am not sure I'm ready to decide and we tell him well think about it.

I give it some thought and decide maybe it wouldn't be the best idea; after all, it's the markings why I'd choose the Bengal over the singapura, and this kitten has mostly black sheet marble markings. His personality is very charming though. I leave it up to my husband since my anxiety makes it impossible to make decisions at times.

Surprise!! Two days later, my husband brought the little Bengal kitten home! Truthfully, as excited as I was when he did this, I've been going back and forth with emotions. He's very hyper and crazy. He won't snuggle with me on the bed, but is constantly sleeping on my husbands lap when we're lounging around. I wanted a singapura for the cuddly affectionate nature, and if I were to have chosen a Bengal, it would be snow or silver with large rosettes. Instead I have a Bengal kitten who won't cuddle me and doesn't have the nicest markings, from a relatively new breeder.

So I'm wondering about also getting a singapura? Would these two breeds do ok together? I'm having such a hard time emotionally here and I know my husband had only the bet of intentions, but I really feel stuck. He loves the little kitten already and I'm struggling to bond with him.

Thanks for any advice in advance :) sorry for such a long tale!

I love my bengals! They get along great with my two rescue cats and the dog (siberian husky). If I am laying on the couch, they join me. I can't pick them up and expect them to stay with me - their cuddling is on their terms. My youngest is a silver (although not so silver with a little brown in him) - he is beautiful. More adorable than a pure silver. He has a very loving personality. I hope you learn to love your new kitten. I would think if you get another cat, they will get along just fine. He would probably be happy to have a brother or sister to run around with!! Bengals definitely are wild and crazy though.

Hi there, I don't know anything about Singapuras, however it sounds like you haven't had your Bengal for long. I wouldn't worry about him being more cuddly towards your husband. Ours went through phases for the first few weeks. She would only sleep on me for a few days, then on my partner, then me and so on and so on. We have had her for 2 months and now she doesn't care who she sleeps with as long as it's warm and comfy. Give him some time, he is getting used to you both. If you then still feel like you need another lap cat, by all means, go for it. There are a lot of clever people on this forum who will advise about Singapuras :).

Know that it takes a while to bond with a kitten. And know that bengals are not generally snuggly lap cats. If you did you research, you read about this. Some bengals love the snuggles,others do not. That being said, I'm sure this little one is sensing that he is not what you really wanted -- he is something your husband really wanted. I have never heard of Singapura cats. A Google search may give you some answers. It sounds like your have your heart set on one. Know that purebred kittens may not be any healthier than your regular domestic kitten, unless the breeder has done all the testing on the kitty.

Sometimes kittens take a while to just settle in and adjust to their new surroundings. You need to be sitting next to your husband when your baby is on him and get involved in the bonding process. I can sense you are feeling left out of the bengal love. Hang in there -- time and patience is what you need.

Singapuras are sweet, beautiful cats. They run about 4-6 pounds depending on sex and are not as active as Abyssinians. Bengals can grow quite large and can be territorial with a touch of bully in them (I am thinking of my cat here). I would think about matching a bengal with a larger active cat like an oriental, abyssinian or even a tabby. Bengals can play very rough with each other, and a small singapura might not appreciate their form of entertainment.

Your bengal kitten will go through many phases and may or may not sit on your lap depending on their mood. They do bond with their humans though and are always interested in what you are doing. They love routine and attention (play time). It does help to have another cat to give you some relief. Introducing another cat when they are young will probably be easier than waiting until your cat is more established.

Thank you for everyone's amazing responses! I did research both breeds extensively and knew bengals were high energy, which is why I wanted a singapura ... But alas, my hubby brought home the Bengal (albeit, this was after I told him to make the choice since I couldn't and I think he was doing it out of compassion since I've been struggling with losing our last cat). I wonder if we should return the Bengal kitten to his breeder? :( I had my heart set on a singapura and if they may not be a good fit, I wonder if it's a good idea to keep the Bengal kitten? It's only been a week since we've had him. I feel awful with the idea of returning him, but if it's not the kitten for our home, maybe it would be best? Feeling really torn :(

On the other hand, it's indicated that singapuras should have another cat in the home unless you're home all the time and hubby and I both work during the day. Sure our shiba inu is at home too, but he's almost 11 years old and having a feline friend for a singapura would be ideal.

I can't help about Singapuras, I've never even seen one "live", but if you do get one, I'd love to hear about how that goes, and of course all about your new kitty Good luck!

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The little monsters 3

I find it heartbreaking when a kitten is returned to the breeder, if for no other reason than you don't want the kitten. That being said, this kitty needs owners who love him and appreciate him for the kitty he is! I think it was nice that your husband wanted to surprise you, however, bringing a pet into the family is a huge commitment and both of you needed to agree on the type of cat to bring into your home. Personally, I just love cats, period. I doesn't matter if it's a regular domestic kitty cat or a purebred. Kitties fascinate me. But their personalities are totally different. We have bengals on here who are cuddly lap cats. Some are not! It's the same with any type of kitty cat. The issue here I think is trying to blend a bengal and a Singapura. It may not work. Bengals are very high energy and very territorial -- especially males. Yet, some bengals fall totally in love with a new sibling and are very protective.

I suggest you get your Singapura and see how things go with both kitties! That way you will have your cat and your husband will have his. It may not be the perfect situation -- but you are NOT going to know how things will go until you give it a try. Just know that patience will be required and you need to give the cats time to adjust. You cannot give up after a week or two. It can take months.

I was just reading about Singaporas. It says that they like to be with their chosen person..this chosen person may again be your husband. Will you be okay with that? I have four cats and they all prefer to be with me.. There is one (an orange tabby) who loves everybody.. But I am the go to for cuddling with all of them. If you give yourself time, you will probably learn to love your Bengal! Maybe give him treats and spend some time playing with him.. All of my bengals love crunchy toys and those with feathers!

A little update :)

Our Bengal kitten still sleeps on my husband more, but occasionally on my lap and even last night he curled up on my chest to get pets while I was sleeping. So I'll take that as a win! I give him treats and play with him as much as I can, and I think today I'll try bringing him outside on his harness. It's been about a week and a half since he came home now and he's settling in well. He's getting along really well with our dog now, whereas before he was terrified of him. So that's progress! I think I'll be ok, and I even sent our deposit for a singapura kitten in today so hopefully in 6-9 months well have a new baby kitty. As it was said, only way to know is to try! And so far our Bengal hasn't exactly displayed territorial tendencies but who knows. He'll be getting fixed, too.