hello there
Just after some advice really, we have 2 bengals, a boy and girl who are litter mates. They are 18mths old.

All the things we have read on the net about bengals doesnt seem to apply to ours. We got them from a reputible breeder and did a lot of research....

However our bengals are very aloof with us, they dont like being picked up, they never really like to sit with us, and mostly just ignore us. They are not aggresive in any way, they are just aloof! They seem quite skitty too, and nervous of strangers.

The girl, never purrs, she has purred twice since we got her when she is really sleepy.

They were a little more affectionate when they were kittens but they seem to be getting worse.

They duck their backs mostly when we stroke them, and it just seems they would prefer us to just ignore them.

They do have moments when they acknowledge us and maybe come over for a bit of love, but this is once in a blue moon..

They do have secure garden access, and it seems the boy is obsessed with going out (and practicing his hunting skills maybe?)

They have only had the garden access for 4mths and they seem to have got more aloof since then. Altho before this they werent particularly affectionate either.

Has anyone experienced this? or any advice? do u think this is just a phase?? we give them so much attention and love and we feel we are getting nothing back, to the point where we regret getting this breed....

Yours thoughts would be appreciated!

Thanks!!

Amber

Nothing to do with the breed, maybe socialisation, maybe genetics, probably more to do with.....
one word
Teenagers!!!!

No appreciation of their parents, do their own thing, hang out with folk their own age.
Wait till they are at least 25.

Also, let them come to you don't "chase" after them. Don't try and pick them up if they don't particularly enjoy it. Try lots of chasing toys, fishing rods and the like. Bengals like to be stimulated. Once they are tired out then they may come over and sit with you. Young cats in particular aren't like dogs they don't tend to do what you want when you want it, you just have to let them do their own thing and be there when they want that affection. All cats have different personalities, just like people, unfortunately you don't seem to have the friendly affable type, but I am sure when you have had them for a while longer they will get better. This is not a breed thing, just an individual variation.

HTH

I'd hazard a guess and say it is just a phase!!!

My two were 1 year old when i first got them and after a few months, i noticed a change in attitude and behaviour.
The boy, Horus, would get the hump for no reason and the girl, Saffy would run and even hiss at you sometimes. They were not as sociable as they had once been.

By the time they reached the age of 2, they were a bundle of joy and had settled down nicely. Horus had never been a lap cat, but once he got over his terrible teens phase, he sat on a lap for the first time ever.

All you can do is be there for them, but let them do their own thing, with supervision. Bit like kids, really. lol.
I'm sure it's something they'll grow out of - just hang in there!

Cats - simple?? Never!

How long have you had them?

I can't really advise other than to relate my own experience. I've had my three for about 2 months (they're almost 6 months old now) and for most of that time they've pretty much got on with life without seeking much attention from me. I began to feel a little bit left out and wondered if I was going to just be some sort of hotel for them.

All of a sudden, literally overnight, they've become very much more affectionate. Lily now jumps on my knee at every opportunity and Daisy has discovered the pleasures of having her tummy tickled. Even Dolly comes up and asks to be stroked. The only thing I can think of that might have triggered it, is that I went away overnight last weekend and left them on their own - maybe it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder!

My situation isn't exactly the same as yours because mine are younger but it does show that they can change quite dramatically so don't give up.

Hello!
I can share in my experience only too. I have my girls for over a year now, and I can't say they are typical lap cats. Their behavior still varies a lot from one week to another. Salem purrs whenever she hears her name, but Cybile purrs only when she ''nurses'' on a blanket or when she feels really affectionate. Recently, Salem sleeps at the top of my head almost every night, and both comes when I take a nap in the afternoon but not at night (even if it's the same place), Cybile comes at my feet when I watch TV but not Salem etc! It changes all the time lol
Guess it can change a lot over time! Hope all will be well for you and your cats!
Good night,
Sysh

My Sammie loudly protests to any picking up, and really doesn't want to be petted more than a few seconds. She likes a good scratch under the chin, but only if she's not being held. Most of the time she's off doing her own thing, or just staring at us from a safe distance. In the past few weeks (we've only had her not even 2 months) she's started sleeping in a box on our nightstand, and once or twice in the morning when i wake up she'll start purring and "headbutting" me and kneading. But it's a rare occurence.

It could just be a phase, and that your kittens are just going through the phases of growing up and trying to get comfortable. I know in two months I went from being pretty much viciously attacked by Sammie anytime I touched her to now where she just loudly meows if I pick her up. Or it's just them being cats. Most cats I've been around are aloof in a sense.

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Sammie & Ari


http://www.spoiledbengal.com

My boy was the same way.

Now that he has passed the two year mark, he is VERY VERY affectionate. I can't even go to the bathroom without him wanting to follow me, constantly headbutting...

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- Dawn

http://www.nutkitty.com