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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2018 2:22 am 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2018 2:00 am
Posts: 3
Hello all, my bengal "miin" and I are new to the forum. I recently adopted her about 2 months ago, she was abandoned, that's all I could get for info on her. She is an awesome cat, very lovey, but on her terms, and she does not like to be picked up, and will run if you even think about picking her up. She's very smart, she is toilet trained, that started about a month and a half ago, in just curious if anyone has any suggestions to make her not so skittish and more trusting. We do have another cat in the house which is also a female and she hasn't completely accepted her yet. We do catch them occasionally touching noses and they will sleep with a few feet of eachother, but our older cat hisses and swats alot, they never fight she just hisses gives a cpl swats and walks away, and miin doesn't really do anything, she doesn't seem scared but doesn't engage either, just let's her do her thing. Any help or suggestions on how they can get along or to make my bengal princess less scared would be greatly appreciated, thank you all and enjoy your evening!!!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 3:30 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:07 am
Posts: 116
My boy Onyx was adopted and very fearful. It took about 9 months until I could reach out and touch him lightly and a few years for him to really open up. It has been 8 years since I rescued him and he is very affectionate and cuddly and loves to be petted. I can even pick him up and carry him short distances without him tensing up. He still wants nothing to do with strangers and hides but he loves his people.

The best advice I can give is to play with your kitty and feed her treats or wet food so you are the source of good experiences. And above all... Be patient. She will come around in time but it has to be at her pace.

Your kitties may come around in time too or at least establish how to coexist with each other. Be sure not to ignore your older kitty and just lavish the new one. She needs lovies and reassurance too with this new-comer. She got all the attention before and will notice if she isn't getting enough now.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 4:59 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2018 3:31 am
Posts: 137
I acquired my Oberon at age 9. I am not sure about his history, but know that he was at a shelter and had just been neutered and had a tooth pulled. The shelter declared him anti-social and a nuisance. I figured that he would always be a bit aloof and resigned myself to a less than affectionate cat.

It has been a long journey, and it is heart warming to see him open up and become trusting and learn to play. My sense is that Bengals feel everything more strongly than other cats. And that means things will take time. Lots of time.

I thought I would NEVER be able to pick him up. I thought I would need a grooming bag just to trim his claws. I can pick him up now. I trim his claws regularly. He doesn't like being picked up, but tolerates it while I give him some "forced loving". Petting, thumping and kind words.

He is very affectionate with me and the other cats. He sits next to me demanding attention. He purrs and kneads and chews on my hair. When he is really happy he drools.

I have been using Feliway diffusers and Sargeants calming collars to help mellow him out with pheromones. But mostly I have just given him time.

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In service to Sir Oberon the Magnificent


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 5:37 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 9158
Welcome to our forum and congratulations on your bengal. Just know things take time. Two months is not very long. You don't know the type of life this kitty had previously, so you need to be patient with her. You will have her for many years, so taking a few months for her to adjust will seem like nothing once she settles in. As for getting the two cats to get along -- that, too, just takes time. Hissing and swatting are fine. My two swat all the time (no hissing, though). The fact that they are not trying to KILL each other is a good sign.

Your bengal will bond with you over time. Just give it a little more time and try not to be impatient. Bengals are not known for liking to be picked up. They usually fight you to get down. Bengals are not like your ordinary cat and you are discovering that. My 11-year old bengal is not affectionate at all. My 6 year old DSH is very affectionate and a lap cat.

Thus, my advice is to just be patient and let the cats work things out between them. Your new baby will come around to you in time. It sounds like there may be some trust issues that this baby had with a previous owner or just being out on her own. I would recommend you talk softly to her whenever she is around you. Get the "communication" going.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 7:10 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:00 am
Posts: 4477
Location: Portland Oregon, USA
DDcleaner wrote:
Hello all, my bengal "miin" and I are new to the forum. I recently adopted her about 2 months ago, she was abandoned, that's all I could get for info on her. She is an awesome cat, very lovey, but on her terms, and she does not like to be picked up, and will run if you even think about picking her up. She's very smart, she is toilet trained, that started about a month and a half ago, in just curious if anyone has any suggestions to make her not so skittish and more trusting. We do have another cat in the house which is also a female and she hasn't completely accepted her yet. We do catch them occasionally touching noses and they will sleep with a few feet of eachother, but our older cat hisses and swats alot, they never fight she just hisses gives a cpl swats and walks away, and miin doesn't really do anything, she doesn't seem scared but doesn't engage either, just let's her do her thing. Any help or suggestions on how they can get along or to make my bengal princess less scared would be greatly appreciated, thank you all and enjoy your evening!!!


Welcome,

Based on what you've said, I would characterize your cat's current relationship as "getting along fine". A lot of cat owners would love to have that relationship between their cats. It's often unrealistic to expect that an older cat will embrace a newcomer as "new bff" anytime soon, or maybe ever. But what it sounds like you have, is two cats that are fine living together, but your older cat is "laying down the law" and making sure the younger one respects some boundaries and ownership. Nothing wrong with that! Their relationship may improve over time, but even if it doesn't, having two willing roommates is not a bad place to be as far as a multi-cat household.

As far as the new cat (bengal?), two thoughts:

1. You have to be mindful about hands. Make sure your hands are associated with good things, and not unpleasant things. Picking her up against her will right now = negative. But if she enjoys a rub under the chin or on the top of the head or whatever, do more of *that*. I sometimes think of it as a running "score". +2 points of chin rubs, -5 points for picking them up and making them unhappy. The other thing that freaks a lot of cats out is simply the height difference between us and her (stop and think about what it would be like to be around something that was THAT many times larger than you). Getting down closer to her level will help a lot in that regard.

2. If she's a bengal, play is usually the way to a bengal's heart. If you become her favorite playmate, you are well on your way to becoming her good friend as well.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 10:11 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2018 2:00 am
Posts: 3
Thank you everyone for your responses, they are very helpful. I have recently started rewarding good behavior from the girls with treats, and it seems to be helping slightly, we have the diffuser, collars, and calming spray that we have been using since day one, and I have also set aside a couple routine times that we play, I make her chase her toy bird up and down the furniture and cat trees, and that actually seems to be helping ease some of her anxiety, she has actually the last couple days been coming up on the couch and sitting next to me, so I've been making sure not to make eye contact, talk softly and just let her do her thing, and she will usually look for a rub or a little butt thumping, I am trying to figure out how to post photos so I can post some pictures, but I cannot figure out how!!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2018 7:12 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 9158
You posted a link to your photos and that is fine. You are doing all the right things to help her settle in with you. In a few weeks, you will be amazed at how far she has come. I promise you.


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